Dreaming of More

Dreams so tangible and definite you can breathe them, so real you can taste them, so near that they tantalize and capture you, transforming what is into what could be; something so magical you can see them, that your soul longs and reaches for them without end. Some days dreams are so close, reality appears as a mere illusion, hidden by this beauty your very being so deeply yearns for. The magic overtakes your senses, obliterating all logic and replacing it with a shaky, beautiful and innocent hope.

Yet at other times, the current of reality washes over these dreams, often blurring and obscuring the beauty of these heart's wishes, distorting hope into a bedraggled, disfigured despair that taints the beauty of love. It is then that life's vibrant colors fade into a monochromatic scheme, endlessly repeating.

Ultimately, who determines change?

Magic

The melody was soft and sweet, rising and falling, taking a form of its own as it grew in this single voice. This freedom of expression, a freeing of her inner voice; a story unfolds in the simplistic tone. The tone softens until a staggering second of silence: stretching on and holding the audience captive, waiting. The room suddenly erupts in harmony, the beautiful fusion of a hundred voices. Shapes emerge, ghostlike figures that are born from the melody, fashioned in the depths of the listeners' mind. Dancing and twisting, unbound by the confines of reality; each growing in the power of the words, the magic of the music.

Some moments just captivate you and steal your breath without warning; those precious golden seconds for which I'll search relentlessly without reward, and then: it just happens. When the music is gone and the lights have dimmed, somehow the trace of a smile can linger through the loneliness. And then life's not so bad, for you know that somehow beauty still exists.

Infestation of the Vermin

Fleas are really amazing creatures, designed to survive. Naturally grown defense mechanisms, built to survive extermination. A female flea lays twenty to thirty eggs a day; eggs take one to ten days to hatch, whereupon they lay in little flea cocoons, laying in wait for the vibrations of an animal to walk past. When this happens, the flea hatches from the cocoon and flies (they're amazing jumpers) to the newly acclaimed host animal. An adult flea can live anywhere from two months to one year without nourishment; this means that even if they don't have a host animal to suck the blood out of, they can still survive for up to a year. The eggs are laid in the fur coat of the host animal, and are designed to fall off the coat: they then hatch in two days to two weeks, and lay in wait in their little larvae cocoons.

I am disgusted by their ingenious survival tactics. Imagine my dismay: even if you eliminate all but one live adult female flea, one egg, or one little larvae, the entire population can flare up again. Two weeks of eggs and larvae lay in wait, multiplying all the while.... a portrait too drastic and impossible to imagine. This cat sleeps in the deep dark corners of the house; after he's been de-infested and let loose again, he'll return to his little hidey- holes. One little flea that we missed, and the entire cycle begins again.

Broken appliances do not help the situation in the least.... a washing machine is vital to the extermination of this disgustingly well designed little flea.

A Melody

Today during passing I was unexpectedly swept back through my cherished memories. A flashback to their sweet childish faces, innocence shining through their sleepy eyes as they looked at me with a pure trusting love. The sound of a voice carrying through the darkness, the tone rising and falling gently, lulling them to the comfort of their dreams. How my heart broke silently on the last night; they begged just one more song, and I secretly begged for more time.

The pain of loss comes in waves; bitterness mixed with sadness, a deep sadness and longing for what has passed. Their gleeful shouts of acknowledgment, their pure joy and excitement to spend time with me. Dancing without a care, swinging 'round and 'round until the world beneath us vanished in the giggles and shrieks of terror- filled glee. A simple lubaduu, an unabashed declaration of love. Deep brown eyes that loved and trusted without bounds.

The sand changes beneath my feet, leaving nothing for me to do but watch the waves. Just a silent, unspoken prayer for more time.