In Captivity

More and more lately I find myself sitting apart from the crowd, for I find a certain pleasure in simply watching the passing faces. There is a simple curiosity in catching clips of conversation, in hearing exclamations of joy or giddy surprise. And yet, following these loud gaieties, another face will pass. Reflected in their downcast eyes is a screaming silence in which they have barely found the strength to hold captive their own tears. These faces stand alone, whether or not they be surrounded by others. Perhaps it is their loneliness that prompts a cry within myself, for their solitary, unapproachable state: words are lost. They are the undertow of the social rhythm, the pattern of personalities that form the collage of faces I daily see.

In this place, personalities are formed from awkwardly juxtaposed events, friendship is a necessity and loneliness no stranger. It is here that vibes are taken far too seriously, gossip is inevitable and hurt feelings overlooked. I find myself longing to leave this place, for my heart yearns to escape this numbing environment. The faces become blurred, no longer intriguing. I have slowly grown numb to this place.

The future is inevitable and looming: its shadow shades my hope and heightens my fear.