Golden Memories

Every day we live is a new chance: a beautiful opportunity to start anew. And the beauty each ray of sunshine spreads across the darkened sky whispers a promise, fringed with the knowledge of what has passed and what is yet to come. The still dawn carries an intangible secret, and the dusk freezes time, holding sacred the precious seconds between light and dark, thus casting life into in an eerie glow.

I cannot accept these tides of change which wash over my sand castle dreams and mold them into worthless, indiscernible piles of nothingness. How is it that everyday we awake a different person, yearning for the days of our youth; and yet each day that we long for is viewed differently than it was the day before? For memories are disintegrated in our feeble minds, and time slowly erases the pain of the memories and fills the gaps in memory with a strengthened memory of happiness. Yet we are ignorant of this mind trick and longingly wish for our past, of the memories which glow with innocent contentment. Did we not experience hardship and disappointment in the days of our youth, perhaps only less painful for our previous ignorance of what real heartbreak is? Our definition of heartbreak changes each day that we live! Our memories are less painful simply because we have grown, and in growing we have learned to harden our hearts...

And yet this knowledge is worthless, for it does little to comfort my heartfelt fears. Perhaps loneliness can be comforting, for it is in a solitary state that the most powerful of lessons are realized.

The Pendulum

Sometimes it feels as though dreams are all I have to carry through: these breathtaking aspirations that consume my being and carry me day to day, dream to dream. For where's the beauty in life if you can't see the colors, the magic of the simplest things? And what is hope if we have nothing to look forward to, to devote all our time and energy and love to until we finally feel content? We wish for love, we dream of perfection. The littlest kids seem to understand the beauty of dreams, far better than everyone else. Don't they live every day in a dream, in whatever world they choose be in at the moment?

And you grow: you realize that love is nothing without pain, that life is harder than you could imagine. That expectations are rarely met, disappointment stains hope, heartbreak is everywhere and true love is a dream. Friendship is loneliness and love is a struggle.

But dreams sweep us off our feet and out of that blossoms hope, a strange flickering candle that refuses to die. And then love chases us when we resist the most, even though disappointment and pain blankets our willingness to believe. And somehow, despite the frailty of it all, you know that life goes on.