Progress
I've found myself lost again, wondering when and if I'll start making progress on that mountainous, endless stack of things to do. Despite my firm resolution for progress, the inevitable occurs: my mind wanders off without warning, visiting nearly anything in my life that lures my attention. Of course, eventually my consciousness catches up and notes the passage of time; despite fanatically realizing this, I end up making a brash attempt to follow those stranded thoughts. By then, these are simply ghosts of what they were: unrecognizable and un- retainable.
They become a frustrating loss that merely leads to further distraction: a pursuit of the fleeting thoughts that make everything else make sense. Those taunting thoughts that so expertly avoid me when I need them most, yet set in after the search is over: my calm after the storm. The thoughts for which I search while seeking reason, despite broken hearts or hopes or dreams. The moral of the story.
Time passes on and deadlines loom with threatening consequence.
posted by Meanderings @ 9:47 PM
1 Comments:
I am looking at a short answer question right now for my St. Olaf application. "Please describe which of your activities (extracurricular and personal activities or work experience) has been most meaningful and why.
All they want is 150 words or fewer, yet I have been looking at a blank word document for over an hour now. I want to use filmmaking as my most meaningful activity, yet I am having trouble finding words to convey how I feel about the most "meaningful" activity in my life. It bothers me because I realize that they won't actually care what I write. I am just another name on a long list of applicants. All that matters to them is sentence structure, and my ability to stand out as a unique individual. In essence all I am doing is writing a commercial for myself, and it sickens me to see something that I care about turned into an advertisement.
Getting to know an applicant by having them write a "forced" essay is completely ridiculous. When I think about the most "meaningful" experiences during filmmaking. I will remember hanging out in Danny's basement. Meeting a 40 year old father going through a mid life crisis who just wanted to show off his hot ride. Watching a taxi driver come to a screeching stop, thinking that Dimitri got hit by a moving car. Not to mention countless other experiences like this occurring throughout each film I have been a part of.
Colleges, don't want to hear about the 40 year old man who drove up to you while you were filming. Colleges don't care what you feel was "meaningful". All they want is generalized boring information padded by good sentence structure and vocabulary. I suppose I find this hard to write because a topic that asks for general information about yourself is not exactly interesting. It is both hard to write, and hard to want to write about something that you know you won't be able to accurately express in 150 words. If only they had us write short stories instead.
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