Delivered in my Convictions

A letter rests in wait as I thoughtfully toy with its edges; it slowly gains a greater gravity the longer it weighs on my mind. A message crafted by my own hand lies inside, written months ago to foreshadow the inevitable passage of time. Several times before I had thrown it aside, promising myself that a later, more convenient time for opening it would arise.

In truth, I am terrified to open this landmark of convictions; the message concealed inside is far too brutal and honest for my current mindset to grapple with. For what force can open the window of one's own mind with a greater power than that of the ghost of a former self? To fling open this window is to allow the winds of change to whip across a weakened heart, bludgeoning the long- built walls of ignorance and excuses to create a crater of truth. An exposure of weakness, of humanity and inexcusable foolishness. Feared as it is, it is an exposure I had afore destined myself to meet. Hidden in the scribbles of my heart, this letter holds the outlines of a battle I fear I am not ready for.

And so, I sit in wait of my own strength of heart.

Yet, a cold realization is slowly overtaking me, for far too long have I promised myself of the approach of a more opportune time. As I starkly recognize the time is now, I slowly reach for this enveloped promise.